As I roll into this town, the memories of years past return to me. In entering, a sign reads, 'Proceed with caution'. I remember where all the curves are, the speed limit, even exactly where all the potholes are. The buildings and signs are all where I recall them to be. The distinct smell of the land floods my mind with memories of pivotal moments of past trips here. Nothing has changed in this old town. I can trust everything to be exactly the same. This is just another venture to this place, a journey I often take to face myself and find my footing again.
It all started about three years ago. I was in a fairly serious relationship with a girl. I was considering long term plans for us. I couldn't imagine myself without her, even beyond outside influences. Everyone knew it. When her family was considering moving away to seek administrative positions, we even thought through plans to keep our long distance relationship going. Then it started happening. I felt my deep emotions for her slowly fading away. I didn't understand it. I fought it kicking and screaming. A punch of confidence would hit me, determining to myself that the relationship would stay alive, but then several moments later as the truth would resurface I would be on the verge of tears. My love for this girl was leaving me and there was nothing I could do about it. No amount of tears or sweet words could save us.
It wasn't anything she had ever done that made me move on. A greater force was pulling me out and gently urging me to let go. Maybe it was outside reasons that our relationship would not work out but maybe it was reasons I could not think of. Either way, I really felt the Lord was looking out for me and pointing me in a better direction. It was a voice that haunted me day and night. I could only escape when I was asleep. After I talked to a number of prominent people, I finally made a decision to end the relationship. I didn't love this girl anymore and any attempts to continue or revive it would be misleading and a lie. Of course I tried to make it work but it was always a dead end. So I had to move on.
A number of months later that year, I met another girl who lived a few hours away. She was so sweet, beautiful, and genuinely cared for me. Before I knew it, she started being interested in me. I liked her also. My emotions were so strong for her but they left early on. Again, it was nothing she had done. If anything, in my very humble opinion, she was perfect for me. Not sure if I was perfect for her. But she had everything I wanted in a companion. I feel like she was the closest I have ever come to someone being such a perfect fit for me. I had EVERY reason to love her. The only thing missing was my love for her. I couldn't make it be there no matter how long I talked to her, how many hours I spent with her, thinking about her, sending her gifts. It wasn't working.
I had two choices: to break it off and hurt her or try to make it work and end up hurting her even more. So I went through with the second choice. I led her on. I talked to her often, sent her extravagant Christmas gifts, all the while living under the guilt of knowing I didn't love her. The same voice was asking me why I was leading her on. I made myself believe the voice was saying, 'not right now', as if this girl and I would eventually be together. You're probably wondering why I continued to lead this girl on. And my answer would be this: All the evidence was there, all the reasons for me to love her. More than enough. But I couldn't make myself love her no matter how hard I tried and how much I desired to. I tried to convince myself that I really loved her but I didn't. There was some reason I couldn't be with her. I may wonder that for the rest of my days. I was never able to to tell her I didn't like her. I wasn't man enough. I made the excuse that our relationship wasn't working 'right now', hoping that one day it would. So we quit communicating. I felt terrible for what I had done. This girl had just wasted time trying to be with me and I can't say I blame her for never wanted to speak to me again.
My main point is it was the same force in both of these instances. In the first relationship I was pulled me out for reasons I could not see and the second disallowed me to ever sincerely be involved for reasons I could not know. You could say my romantic feelings are not in my control. I'm not out of control, but they are securely in God's hands. His sight is much further and is infinitely more knowledgeable of my life. I can't see around the next corner, much less what will happen in my romantic relationships. It's a supernatural spiritual level that I've never heard anyone else say they've been, but this requires plenty of trust. When God decides to let open the floodgates of my heart to fall in love with someone, it will be in his plan. I'm not going to worry. He has never disappointed me and I'm not expecting him to. I truly believe I can't make feelings for someone nor allow enough time for them to form in order to have them. I trust wholly in God that when the time is right that he will allow me to love the right woman for me.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
A New Year, A Better Me
Midnight has passed. It is now 2011. 2010 is gone forever. It was just a few hours ago that I was trying to decide how I wanted to spend the last evening of 2010. I went with the parents out to eat. Since I work in a restaurant, I am well aware that simply because it's a Friday night means that many places will be busy. And surely they were. After we returned home, I somehow convinced myself to dust off my gym card and make a trip to the gym. The gym was empty. Everyone was out celebrating the start of a new year. I'm not sure how I feel about the spirit of a new year. Even though it follows on the coattails of the Christmas season, it's not difficult to think of them separately. Many people think of a new year as a clean slate, a chance to start all over again. It's strange that we all seem to block together years instead of months, weeks, days, or the time between birthdays. No, we think of each year to be separate from others.
I would like to think of a new year as another opportunity to better myself. As I examine myself, not just in 2010, but years before, I see plenty of areas in which I could use improvement. I hate to say the word 'resolution', so I'm going to avoid using that word. Anyhow, I just have one thing to ask: What if we all could stick to our goals? What if we could keep our eyes on the prize even when life gets extremely hectic? How much better off would we be if we could still see progress in October of the efforts we began in January?
I desire in this new year for my first aim is to be more patient. Everything in life that is worth waiting for requires time. Even a meal warming up in the microwave takes 3 minutes to cook. Yes, it's worth waiting for because I'm hungry and/or it's tasty. Work goes hand in hand with patience. I can't expect to find a job unless I go out and put in applications and hand out my resume. Most likely, a job opportunity isn't going to come knocking on my door. It requires work and patience. A college degree definitely doesn't come for free either. It requires countless hours of studying, reading, and neglecting some priorities which don't help bring about a valuable education. Getting an education is a lot of work. Those are two examples of things that require work. But what about things that don't require work? Well, I have to admit, I'm patient with technology. I'm not a person who gets upset when something isn't working properly. I don't yell at it and beat it, claiming it should be working right because it's an advancement in technology. No, I just see them for what they are. Man-made machines that eventually will fail.
I'm also patient with people but maybe not in the way you would think. The person standing in line getting annoyed because the customer ahead is having a great conversation with the cashier? No, that's not me. I'm the person who, in the past, was not able to sit down and enjoy a good conversation, one on one. Sometimes I can, but sometimes I have too much on my mind. So this year, I want to slow down in all the busyness of life and savor the simple pleasures of conversation. Listening. Comprehending. Thinking. Learning. Responding. And to think, which I was younger I was extremely shy and quiet. Often times I would avoid situations, phone calls where I had to talk to people because I was terrified of not being able to keep a conversation going! Nonetheless I really want to be more patient when it comes to people. And if you're reading this and one day we just happen to be talking and I seem restless, (I never show it but if it slips out) then remind me on this blog, please and thank you.
Moving along, I also desire to have and exercise continuous boldness. I naturally have a quiet personality and rising from the shadowy way I was raised has been tough. There have been times when my self esteem is very high and then rock bottom. The confidence never seems to stay. It wasn't until this last year that I earnestly started seeking boldness in every area of my life. It has never been first nature, but merely something I had to think about before acting on it. I recall challenging myself to talk to one person I didn't know within a certain time period while I was in school. It was very tough but I did it, with voice shaking, face sweating. Not a very easy task, but achievable nonetheless.I was never the kid who was involved in all sports, was athletic, and had a ton of friends. I was the one who was dreading going to school to face the real world and have people see that I didn't have many friends. I always wanted attention, especially from girls but I didn't always get it, which I'm glad I didn't because I realize now there is no way I would be able to handle it all. I would've just crumbled under the pressure.
You would think that my security level would be much higher and I believe it should. I've been around people who have been totally shocked when I speak of my times of insecurity. But it's true. I've come a long way from avoiding any means of conversation to speaking in front of a few people to a large number of people. In 2010, moving more out of my shell was probably my largest personal accomplishment. I only wish to keep the momentum going. I understand that being insecure is always being humble. But, my goodness, you eventually have to read a point where you aren't ashamed for speaking up at all. I believe you can realize you're out of line without being embarrassed. It's entertaining to think of the journey annnnnd I only hope to be moving forward and outward ;)
The last virtue I would desire to have this year is diligence. Some things are really hard to keep going. The one thing that pops in my mind right away is my guitar. How many times over the years since I received the instrument when I was 13 did I pick it up, learn a few chords, get the calluses, and put the thing down? I couldn't tell you. It's ridiculous. When life becomes busy, that is one of the talents to go first. And the bad thing is it's basically relearning the same techniques just about every time. So yes, I do have my eye on you this year, guitar. And I have plans for you and I, which will come to pass once the time arrives. Another is my exercise routine. Funny, I can come up with excuses the whole way from any point A, of your choice, to any point B, as to why I shouldn't work out today. I will admit that I failed miserably at keeping up with working out in the past six months. I know it's a task that I really need to do and it's just one of those things that I see it in my near future that I will be making myself do it.
Another area is my college studies. I have an odd problem of not being able to readily remember things very well unless I spend a lot of time studying them. I also have issues with hearing songs in my head when I'm studying. That's particularly why during finals week of this last semester I didn't listen to an entire song for over a week. It greatly helped. But I can't afford to be a student who gets by with half-effort anymore. I do care about my grades but sometimes it's a struggle to focus. When you're in school, spending your time wisely is soo crucial.
I would also desire to commit to reading my Bible more. This past year I've definitely improved my prayer life. But that's just one part of maintaining a spiritual life. My Bible reading has sorely been lacking. I have a Bible app on my iPhone but sadly it hasn't been used much. So what I need is discipline. My conscience tears at me when I go one day without praying. I need the same guilty conscience to tug on me when I go one day without reading the Bible. I need to look at this life's road map more often than I have been.
3 things: Patience, Boldness, and Diligence in 2011.
I would like to think of a new year as another opportunity to better myself. As I examine myself, not just in 2010, but years before, I see plenty of areas in which I could use improvement. I hate to say the word 'resolution', so I'm going to avoid using that word. Anyhow, I just have one thing to ask: What if we all could stick to our goals? What if we could keep our eyes on the prize even when life gets extremely hectic? How much better off would we be if we could still see progress in October of the efforts we began in January?
I desire in this new year for my first aim is to be more patient. Everything in life that is worth waiting for requires time. Even a meal warming up in the microwave takes 3 minutes to cook. Yes, it's worth waiting for because I'm hungry and/or it's tasty. Work goes hand in hand with patience. I can't expect to find a job unless I go out and put in applications and hand out my resume. Most likely, a job opportunity isn't going to come knocking on my door. It requires work and patience. A college degree definitely doesn't come for free either. It requires countless hours of studying, reading, and neglecting some priorities which don't help bring about a valuable education. Getting an education is a lot of work. Those are two examples of things that require work. But what about things that don't require work? Well, I have to admit, I'm patient with technology. I'm not a person who gets upset when something isn't working properly. I don't yell at it and beat it, claiming it should be working right because it's an advancement in technology. No, I just see them for what they are. Man-made machines that eventually will fail.
I'm also patient with people but maybe not in the way you would think. The person standing in line getting annoyed because the customer ahead is having a great conversation with the cashier? No, that's not me. I'm the person who, in the past, was not able to sit down and enjoy a good conversation, one on one. Sometimes I can, but sometimes I have too much on my mind. So this year, I want to slow down in all the busyness of life and savor the simple pleasures of conversation. Listening. Comprehending. Thinking. Learning. Responding. And to think, which I was younger I was extremely shy and quiet. Often times I would avoid situations, phone calls where I had to talk to people because I was terrified of not being able to keep a conversation going! Nonetheless I really want to be more patient when it comes to people. And if you're reading this and one day we just happen to be talking and I seem restless, (I never show it but if it slips out) then remind me on this blog, please and thank you.
Moving along, I also desire to have and exercise continuous boldness. I naturally have a quiet personality and rising from the shadowy way I was raised has been tough. There have been times when my self esteem is very high and then rock bottom. The confidence never seems to stay. It wasn't until this last year that I earnestly started seeking boldness in every area of my life. It has never been first nature, but merely something I had to think about before acting on it. I recall challenging myself to talk to one person I didn't know within a certain time period while I was in school. It was very tough but I did it, with voice shaking, face sweating. Not a very easy task, but achievable nonetheless.I was never the kid who was involved in all sports, was athletic, and had a ton of friends. I was the one who was dreading going to school to face the real world and have people see that I didn't have many friends. I always wanted attention, especially from girls but I didn't always get it, which I'm glad I didn't because I realize now there is no way I would be able to handle it all. I would've just crumbled under the pressure.
You would think that my security level would be much higher and I believe it should. I've been around people who have been totally shocked when I speak of my times of insecurity. But it's true. I've come a long way from avoiding any means of conversation to speaking in front of a few people to a large number of people. In 2010, moving more out of my shell was probably my largest personal accomplishment. I only wish to keep the momentum going. I understand that being insecure is always being humble. But, my goodness, you eventually have to read a point where you aren't ashamed for speaking up at all. I believe you can realize you're out of line without being embarrassed. It's entertaining to think of the journey annnnnd I only hope to be moving forward and outward ;)
The last virtue I would desire to have this year is diligence. Some things are really hard to keep going. The one thing that pops in my mind right away is my guitar. How many times over the years since I received the instrument when I was 13 did I pick it up, learn a few chords, get the calluses, and put the thing down? I couldn't tell you. It's ridiculous. When life becomes busy, that is one of the talents to go first. And the bad thing is it's basically relearning the same techniques just about every time. So yes, I do have my eye on you this year, guitar. And I have plans for you and I, which will come to pass once the time arrives. Another is my exercise routine. Funny, I can come up with excuses the whole way from any point A, of your choice, to any point B, as to why I shouldn't work out today. I will admit that I failed miserably at keeping up with working out in the past six months. I know it's a task that I really need to do and it's just one of those things that I see it in my near future that I will be making myself do it.
Another area is my college studies. I have an odd problem of not being able to readily remember things very well unless I spend a lot of time studying them. I also have issues with hearing songs in my head when I'm studying. That's particularly why during finals week of this last semester I didn't listen to an entire song for over a week. It greatly helped. But I can't afford to be a student who gets by with half-effort anymore. I do care about my grades but sometimes it's a struggle to focus. When you're in school, spending your time wisely is soo crucial.
I would also desire to commit to reading my Bible more. This past year I've definitely improved my prayer life. But that's just one part of maintaining a spiritual life. My Bible reading has sorely been lacking. I have a Bible app on my iPhone but sadly it hasn't been used much. So what I need is discipline. My conscience tears at me when I go one day without praying. I need the same guilty conscience to tug on me when I go one day without reading the Bible. I need to look at this life's road map more often than I have been.
3 things: Patience, Boldness, and Diligence in 2011.
Friday, December 24, 2010
For Your Useless Information
I've complied a short list of my top albums of 2010. Enjoy.
7) Children 18:3 - Rain's A Comin'
(More specifically: Lost So Long, Cover Your Eyes, Oh, Bravo, Wonder I).
What frustrates me and many other people about this sibling band, is their lyrics. Sometimes they seem to be all over the place with their writing. Thankfully, they have cleared up some of the confusion with this release. Some of the songs may sound silly at first, but after a few plays, they begin to grow on you. They keep an overarching theme of something approaching on the horizon, of revival.
6) The Almost - Monster Monster
(Monster Monster, No I Don't, Hands, Souls On Ten, Hand Grenade, Young Again).
When Southern Weather came out, I disliked the special attention Aaron Gillespie's band was getting, merely because he was in part of Underoath at the time. I wish reviews would strip away the fame that came along with the spotlight. With their sophomore release, they take the chance to prove themselves. It's a solid record touching on topics such as the human condition, faith, and charity.
5) Sanctus Real - Pieces of A Real Heart
(The Way the World Turns, Lead Me, Forgiven, The Redeemer, I Want To Get Lost).
I've been a fan of this band since their first album in 2002. With every album, they have steadily matured more and have increased their fan base. I'm pretty sure I wore out this album listening to it. Their life experiences written and made into songs, I couldn't put this record down. This album is so good I even bought two copies for friends.
4) The Rocket Summer - Of Men and Angels
(Roses, Hills and Valleys, I Want Something to Live For, Light).
3) Underoath - Disambiguation
(In Division, Paper Lung, Driftwood, Vacant Mouth).
When a hardcore band's vocalist leaves, it can change their sound dramatically. But when former drummer/vocalist Aaron Gillespie left, the other vocalist, Spencer Chamberlain, simply stepped up. Now performing both screams and singing, Spencer leads Underoath on to another great record.
2) Lecrae - Rehab
(New Shalom, God is Enough, Boasting, Background, Gotta Know).
I was surprised at how many guest vocals that appeared on this record. Nearly every song has at least one person other than Lecrae on the mic. Usually this can be an advantage for an artist and Rehab is no exception. Lecrae manages to present a satisfying variety for the surreal experience in spiritual rehabilitation. This would have to be my favorite hip-hop/rap album of the year by no other than the king himself, Lecrae.
1) Ivoryline - Vessels
(The Healing, With the Daylight, Instincts, Hearts Open, Vessels, Made From Dust).
These guys were one of the bands who came along in 2007 from Tooth & Nail Records. But in order to make a lasting impression, these guys had to stick out somehow. Out of all the bands at T&N, Ivoryline is the loudest with their faith. Their lyrics are more convicting than ever.
Songs I Didn't Like At First But Love Later:
Yes, there comes a time, whether you want to admit it or not, where there's a certain song that you just automatically didn't like. For whatever reason, you just didn't like it. Perhaps it was that Switchfoot or Demon Hunter song that stayed at number one in the ten most wanted countdown for weeks on end. Or maybe it was House of Heroes, who was pulling in fans from a previous album's success. It could have been that this was just another example of Children 18:3's silly lyric writing. Biased against Anberlin's secular and non-secular popularity. Too slow for a rock band. New band apathy. Whatever. The excuses are forever. But it's no time before I find myself singing to myself one of those ridiculous songs. Here is a list of some of those.
The Afters - Light Up the Sky
Anberlin - Impossible
Children 18:3 - Oh, Bravo
Close Your Eyes - Song For the Broken
The Classic Crime - Four Chords
Demon Hunter - Collapsing
The Devil Wears Prada - Assistant to the Regional Manager
Disciple - Collision
Fireflight - What I've Overcome
Haste the Day - White as Snow
House of Heroes - The Elevator
Ivoryline - Instincts
Manafest - Avalanche
Number One Gun - Forest
Relient K - I Don't Need A Soul
The Rocket Summer - Light
Sent By Ravens - Beautiful List
Switchfoot - Mess of Me
Thousand Foot Krutch - Welcome to the Masquarade
Write This Down - Handgrenades
7) Children 18:3 - Rain's A Comin'
(More specifically: Lost So Long, Cover Your Eyes, Oh, Bravo, Wonder I).
What frustrates me and many other people about this sibling band, is their lyrics. Sometimes they seem to be all over the place with their writing. Thankfully, they have cleared up some of the confusion with this release. Some of the songs may sound silly at first, but after a few plays, they begin to grow on you. They keep an overarching theme of something approaching on the horizon, of revival.
(Monster Monster, No I Don't, Hands, Souls On Ten, Hand Grenade, Young Again).
When Southern Weather came out, I disliked the special attention Aaron Gillespie's band was getting, merely because he was in part of Underoath at the time. I wish reviews would strip away the fame that came along with the spotlight. With their sophomore release, they take the chance to prove themselves. It's a solid record touching on topics such as the human condition, faith, and charity.
(The Way the World Turns, Lead Me, Forgiven, The Redeemer, I Want To Get Lost).
I've been a fan of this band since their first album in 2002. With every album, they have steadily matured more and have increased their fan base. I'm pretty sure I wore out this album listening to it. Their life experiences written and made into songs, I couldn't put this record down. This album is so good I even bought two copies for friends.
4) The Rocket Summer - Of Men and Angels
(Roses, Hills and Valleys, I Want Something to Live For, Light).
(In Division, Paper Lung, Driftwood, Vacant Mouth).
When a hardcore band's vocalist leaves, it can change their sound dramatically. But when former drummer/vocalist Aaron Gillespie left, the other vocalist, Spencer Chamberlain, simply stepped up. Now performing both screams and singing, Spencer leads Underoath on to another great record.
2) Lecrae - Rehab
(New Shalom, God is Enough, Boasting, Background, Gotta Know).
I was surprised at how many guest vocals that appeared on this record. Nearly every song has at least one person other than Lecrae on the mic. Usually this can be an advantage for an artist and Rehab is no exception. Lecrae manages to present a satisfying variety for the surreal experience in spiritual rehabilitation. This would have to be my favorite hip-hop/rap album of the year by no other than the king himself, Lecrae.
1) Ivoryline - Vessels
(The Healing, With the Daylight, Instincts, Hearts Open, Vessels, Made From Dust).
These guys were one of the bands who came along in 2007 from Tooth & Nail Records. But in order to make a lasting impression, these guys had to stick out somehow. Out of all the bands at T&N, Ivoryline is the loudest with their faith. Their lyrics are more convicting than ever.
Songs I Didn't Like At First But Love Later:
Yes, there comes a time, whether you want to admit it or not, where there's a certain song that you just automatically didn't like. For whatever reason, you just didn't like it. Perhaps it was that Switchfoot or Demon Hunter song that stayed at number one in the ten most wanted countdown for weeks on end. Or maybe it was House of Heroes, who was pulling in fans from a previous album's success. It could have been that this was just another example of Children 18:3's silly lyric writing. Biased against Anberlin's secular and non-secular popularity. Too slow for a rock band. New band apathy. Whatever. The excuses are forever. But it's no time before I find myself singing to myself one of those ridiculous songs. Here is a list of some of those.
The Afters - Light Up the Sky
Anberlin - Impossible
Children 18:3 - Oh, Bravo
Close Your Eyes - Song For the Broken
The Classic Crime - Four Chords
Demon Hunter - Collapsing
The Devil Wears Prada - Assistant to the Regional Manager
Disciple - Collision
Fireflight - What I've Overcome
Haste the Day - White as Snow
House of Heroes - The Elevator
Ivoryline - Instincts
Manafest - Avalanche
Number One Gun - Forest
Relient K - I Don't Need A Soul
The Rocket Summer - Light
Sent By Ravens - Beautiful List
Switchfoot - Mess of Me
Thousand Foot Krutch - Welcome to the Masquarade
Write This Down - Handgrenades
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Reversing the Debt We've Created
This is a video script that I had written for our campus ministry at LSU. You just have to read it forwards and backwards to see what a difference a reversal can make.
I have to die lost.
And I don’t believe
there is hope.
I do know
no one cares about you.
It is foolish to think
God is real.
It is easy to conceive
that I can not affect someone’s life.
It is not worthwhile to believe
for eternal life to be sought after.
I am taught in a way to which
I curse god and forgot his commandments.
It will never be said that
I will live to see my family saved.
I strongly trust
that I will end up divorced.
No longer choosing to accept
earns favor in the sight of the Lord.
Using my talents to further the kingdom of God
will be my greatest mistake.
Denying the cross at Calvary
is worth losing my soul over.
Nothing in my life
is more important than living for the moment.
Raising my children in church
will do no good.
Enjoying drugs and alcohol
will give me a lasting satisfaction.
Following God's will
only leads to a dead end road.
Choosing to fulfill fleshly desires
gives pure happiness.
The joy of the Lord
won't be my strength.
All of my possessions
can fill the emptiness inside.
Only a relationship with Christ
won't help me reach my eternal potential.
Doing nothing
we determine this won't happen.
We are defeated if
our college campuses can be saved.
it will be evident that
making money is my only goal in life
I will be completely wrong when
I stand up for what I believe.
I have my priorities straight when
partying
is more important than
God.
my life is meaningless.
There is no use to believe
There is hope.
And all this will come true unless we choose to reverse it...
There is hope.
There is no use to believe
my life is meaningless.
God
is more important than
partying.
I have my priorities straight when
I stand up for what I believe.
I will be completely wrong when
making money is my only goal in life.
it will be evident that
our college campuses can be saved.
We are defeated if
we determine this won't happen.
Doing nothing
won't help me reach my eternal potential.
Only a relationship with Christ
can fill the emptiness inside.
All of my possessions
won't be my strength.
The joy of the Lord
gives pure happiness.
Choosing to fulfill fleshly desires
only leads to a dead end road.
Following God's will
will give me a lasting satisfaction.
Enjoying drugs and alcohol
will do no good.
Raising my children in church
is more important than living for the moment.
Nothing in my life
is worth losing my soul over.
Denying the cross at Calvary
will be my greatest mistake.
Using my talents to further the kingdom of God
earns favor in the sight of the Lord.
No longer choosing to accept
that I will end up divorced.
I strongly trust
I will live to see my family saved.
It will never be said that
I curse god and forgot his commandments.
I am taught in a way to which
for eternal life to be sought after.
It is not worthwhile to believe
that I can not affect someone’s life.
It is easy to conceive
God is real.
It is foolish to think
no one cares about you.
I do know
there is hope.
And I don’t believe
I have to die lost.
I have to die lost.
And I don’t believe
there is hope.
I do know
no one cares about you.
It is foolish to think
God is real.
It is easy to conceive
that I can not affect someone’s life.
It is not worthwhile to believe
for eternal life to be sought after.
I am taught in a way to which
I curse god and forgot his commandments.
It will never be said that
I will live to see my family saved.
I strongly trust
that I will end up divorced.
No longer choosing to accept
earns favor in the sight of the Lord.
Using my talents to further the kingdom of God
will be my greatest mistake.
Denying the cross at Calvary
is worth losing my soul over.
Nothing in my life
is more important than living for the moment.
Raising my children in church
will do no good.
Enjoying drugs and alcohol
will give me a lasting satisfaction.
Following God's will
only leads to a dead end road.
Choosing to fulfill fleshly desires
gives pure happiness.
The joy of the Lord
won't be my strength.
All of my possessions
can fill the emptiness inside.
Only a relationship with Christ
won't help me reach my eternal potential.
Doing nothing
we determine this won't happen.
We are defeated if
our college campuses can be saved.
it will be evident that
making money is my only goal in life
I will be completely wrong when
I stand up for what I believe.
I have my priorities straight when
partying
is more important than
God.
my life is meaningless.
There is no use to believe
There is hope.
And all this will come true unless we choose to reverse it...
There is hope.
There is no use to believe
my life is meaningless.
God
is more important than
partying.
I have my priorities straight when
I stand up for what I believe.
I will be completely wrong when
making money is my only goal in life.
it will be evident that
our college campuses can be saved.
We are defeated if
we determine this won't happen.
Doing nothing
won't help me reach my eternal potential.
Only a relationship with Christ
can fill the emptiness inside.
All of my possessions
won't be my strength.
The joy of the Lord
gives pure happiness.
Choosing to fulfill fleshly desires
only leads to a dead end road.
Following God's will
will give me a lasting satisfaction.
Enjoying drugs and alcohol
will do no good.
Raising my children in church
is more important than living for the moment.
Nothing in my life
is worth losing my soul over.
Denying the cross at Calvary
will be my greatest mistake.
Using my talents to further the kingdom of God
earns favor in the sight of the Lord.
No longer choosing to accept
that I will end up divorced.
I strongly trust
I will live to see my family saved.
It will never be said that
I curse god and forgot his commandments.
I am taught in a way to which
for eternal life to be sought after.
It is not worthwhile to believe
that I can not affect someone’s life.
It is easy to conceive
God is real.
It is foolish to think
no one cares about you.
I do know
there is hope.
And I don’t believe
I have to die lost.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
'Turn Your Ear To Heaven'
There are plenty of different music types in the world today, now more than ever. One in particular, Christian, has a large variety of music genres underneath it. So really what is Christian music?
Let’s think about what it means to be a Christian before we think about Christian music. As a Christian, people judge you by your attitude and your actions (your outward appearance, how you speak, and how you act). So being a Christian, shouldn’t that imply that we reflect Christ somehow with the fact that his name is in our title? In Galations 5, “Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.” Bands speak through their lyrics. If their lyrics don’t line up with what the word of God says, then what business do bands have calling themselves Christian?
A number of years ago I was on vacation, visiting some family in the northeast U.S. when my cousin and I went into town to run a few errands. We stopped at a bookstore for a while. I was sitting down reading through an issue of Alternative Press when I came across an article featuring a Christian rock band. My interest rose as I read on. I had not heard too much about this particular band and I was curious about what they had to offer. So I continued reading about what the lead singer of this band had to say. Suddenly he uttered a curse word in one of the quotes. Immediately I stopped reading and closed the magazine, somewhat shocked. Since then, I have not taken much time to discover what that band was about.
Think about this: if the words that we think are profane, actually aren’t, then why are people still stunned when any of those words are uttered? Because they are in fact curse words. Regardless of the direction society is shifting…we all know that entertainment is only going to get worse…regardless of what’s being accepted more…God’s word is unchanging. What that text says is wrong isn’t going to be right tomorrow, or only on Tuesdays and not Thursdays, or ever. Jesus said, “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words are forever.” It’s our own desensitizing that changes our feelings. Don’t get me wrong, I can handle profane language if I have to, that’s not what bothers me. It’s just disappointing to see bands that some of us look up to give in to the ways of the world.
A couple of times a year, a number of radio stations ask their listeners to give money to help stay on the airways. Depending on the size of the listener area, the amount of money needed can be anywhere from hundreds of thousands of dollars to millions. This pledge allows the stations to continually play music without the responsibility of running commercials. In the big picture, the listener supported stations actually play an additional two and a half months more of music throughout the year. In my search for listener supported radio stations, most, but not all, of the stations I came across were Christian music stations. Now, if these funded stations weren’t able to get money, they would be forced to get sponsors and have to play commercials. Unfortunately, the relevant message would be drowned out by those advertisements. To me this shows that people care about the message of the church.
The major issue of appeal is the fan base. Bands who aren’t labeled Christian can appeal to a larger audience while those who are automatically catch the attention of the church. Usually record companies can govern the message that their bands put out. Anyway, the ones that tend to run in Christian music circles are often stereotyped in a certain way such as Gospel music is, which there is nothing wrong. Many people see this type of music as always being under the praise and worship umbrella and that’s not entirely true. Like I said in the beginning, in nearly any genre of music, there are those that associate themselves with the church. But again, parts of society look over the ones who are labeled Christian thus taking away from the growth of the fan base. Thus being the reason why some Christian bands don’t like to label themselves as so.
In August 2009, Christian hardcore/metal quintet Oh, Sleeper released their sophomore album entitled Son of the Morning. On the cover, a symbol that, at first glance, sets its onlookers back, is pictured. It is the original symbol of a pentagram with two arms less. Originally this symbol was for Christians as God being over creation. Over time, it was altered and the two arms were added to make a five point star now associating itself with Satan. This is just another example that has been reoccurring over time. In the beginning, Satan didn’t have anything of his own besides followers. Throughout time, he has taken what God made for good and perverted it and used it for evil. That includes music involving the things that Paul mentioned in Galatians.
Not too long ago in an interview with Jesusfreakhideout.com, Ben Crist, front man of The Glorious Unseen, had the following to say: “When you’re out here doing ministry like this – you know, we are out here doing what God has called us to do. This isn’t a money-making scheme; this is because this is our hearts. And when you do something like this, you get out here and travel around and do this so much, you’re on the frontlines of a spiritual battle. We are impacting people in ways that would turn their hearts toward God and we are impacting a scene of people who previously may have not been so passionate about God. And when we do that, the enemy would basically wanna take us out cause we’re doing something that he does not want to happen. It’s a battlefield out here.”
In Matthew 7, Jesus said, “By their fruit you will recognize them.” He knew that there would be those who would try to deceive us, and to watch their actions. For bands, we only see them for a limited time, so in addition to watching how they live, we have to look at their lyrics. If it’s a band that labels itself Christian, then there should be some difference between it’s message and a secular band’s. Jesus also said: “Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep, but are really wolves that will tear you apart. You can detect them by the way they act, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit.” (Matthew 7:15-16 NLT) Though the Lord was referring to false prophets here, the principle is the same for others who would attempt to mislead God’s people. Jesus continues on to say: “Not all people who sound religious are really godly. They may refer to Me as ‘Lord,’ but they still won’t enter the Kingdom of Heaven. The decisive issue is whether they obey My Father in heaven.” (Matthew 7:21 NLT). I said all that to say this: If you’re a secular band calling yourself Christian only to further fame, eventually what’s inside will come out.
(Disclaimer: I’m not saying that non-Christian music is bad. I’m only addressing the topic of Christian music.)
This blog was encouraged to write by my wonderful friend, Shelby Fontenot.
If you have any comments or controversy, please respond below!
Let’s think about what it means to be a Christian before we think about Christian music. As a Christian, people judge you by your attitude and your actions (your outward appearance, how you speak, and how you act). So being a Christian, shouldn’t that imply that we reflect Christ somehow with the fact that his name is in our title? In Galations 5, “Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.” Bands speak through their lyrics. If their lyrics don’t line up with what the word of God says, then what business do bands have calling themselves Christian?
A number of years ago I was on vacation, visiting some family in the northeast U.S. when my cousin and I went into town to run a few errands. We stopped at a bookstore for a while. I was sitting down reading through an issue of Alternative Press when I came across an article featuring a Christian rock band. My interest rose as I read on. I had not heard too much about this particular band and I was curious about what they had to offer. So I continued reading about what the lead singer of this band had to say. Suddenly he uttered a curse word in one of the quotes. Immediately I stopped reading and closed the magazine, somewhat shocked. Since then, I have not taken much time to discover what that band was about.
Think about this: if the words that we think are profane, actually aren’t, then why are people still stunned when any of those words are uttered? Because they are in fact curse words. Regardless of the direction society is shifting…we all know that entertainment is only going to get worse…regardless of what’s being accepted more…God’s word is unchanging. What that text says is wrong isn’t going to be right tomorrow, or only on Tuesdays and not Thursdays, or ever. Jesus said, “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words are forever.” It’s our own desensitizing that changes our feelings. Don’t get me wrong, I can handle profane language if I have to, that’s not what bothers me. It’s just disappointing to see bands that some of us look up to give in to the ways of the world.
A couple of times a year, a number of radio stations ask their listeners to give money to help stay on the airways. Depending on the size of the listener area, the amount of money needed can be anywhere from hundreds of thousands of dollars to millions. This pledge allows the stations to continually play music without the responsibility of running commercials. In the big picture, the listener supported stations actually play an additional two and a half months more of music throughout the year. In my search for listener supported radio stations, most, but not all, of the stations I came across were Christian music stations. Now, if these funded stations weren’t able to get money, they would be forced to get sponsors and have to play commercials. Unfortunately, the relevant message would be drowned out by those advertisements. To me this shows that people care about the message of the church.
The major issue of appeal is the fan base. Bands who aren’t labeled Christian can appeal to a larger audience while those who are automatically catch the attention of the church. Usually record companies can govern the message that their bands put out. Anyway, the ones that tend to run in Christian music circles are often stereotyped in a certain way such as Gospel music is, which there is nothing wrong. Many people see this type of music as always being under the praise and worship umbrella and that’s not entirely true. Like I said in the beginning, in nearly any genre of music, there are those that associate themselves with the church. But again, parts of society look over the ones who are labeled Christian thus taking away from the growth of the fan base. Thus being the reason why some Christian bands don’t like to label themselves as so.
In August 2009, Christian hardcore/metal quintet Oh, Sleeper released their sophomore album entitled Son of the Morning. On the cover, a symbol that, at first glance, sets its onlookers back, is pictured. It is the original symbol of a pentagram with two arms less. Originally this symbol was for Christians as God being over creation. Over time, it was altered and the two arms were added to make a five point star now associating itself with Satan. This is just another example that has been reoccurring over time. In the beginning, Satan didn’t have anything of his own besides followers. Throughout time, he has taken what God made for good and perverted it and used it for evil. That includes music involving the things that Paul mentioned in Galatians.
Not too long ago in an interview with Jesusfreakhideout.com, Ben Crist, front man of The Glorious Unseen, had the following to say: “When you’re out here doing ministry like this – you know, we are out here doing what God has called us to do. This isn’t a money-making scheme; this is because this is our hearts. And when you do something like this, you get out here and travel around and do this so much, you’re on the frontlines of a spiritual battle. We are impacting people in ways that would turn their hearts toward God and we are impacting a scene of people who previously may have not been so passionate about God. And when we do that, the enemy would basically wanna take us out cause we’re doing something that he does not want to happen. It’s a battlefield out here.”
In Matthew 7, Jesus said, “By their fruit you will recognize them.” He knew that there would be those who would try to deceive us, and to watch their actions. For bands, we only see them for a limited time, so in addition to watching how they live, we have to look at their lyrics. If it’s a band that labels itself Christian, then there should be some difference between it’s message and a secular band’s. Jesus also said: “Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep, but are really wolves that will tear you apart. You can detect them by the way they act, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit.” (Matthew 7:15-16 NLT) Though the Lord was referring to false prophets here, the principle is the same for others who would attempt to mislead God’s people. Jesus continues on to say: “Not all people who sound religious are really godly. They may refer to Me as ‘Lord,’ but they still won’t enter the Kingdom of Heaven. The decisive issue is whether they obey My Father in heaven.” (Matthew 7:21 NLT). I said all that to say this: If you’re a secular band calling yourself Christian only to further fame, eventually what’s inside will come out.
(Disclaimer: I’m not saying that non-Christian music is bad. I’m only addressing the topic of Christian music.)
This blog was encouraged to write by my wonderful friend, Shelby Fontenot.
If you have any comments or controversy, please respond below!
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